So i tried out the Soy milk today on Hazel. And so far we are all solid!!! Literally. I dont know what it is but ever since she started to drink the soy today she only slept one full hour FOR THE WHOLE DAY. Ive never seen her have so much energy before. We went to the park and played like nuts! Also went to the mall,shopped and played there as well.

Hazel now takes the diaper sprayer and hits the toilet and or dunks it in the toilet thinking shes rinsing diapers. I love how she tries to mimic me now:)

Tonight while i was cooking she rearranged the fridge but in a good way, like, it was really interesting. My little Hazel is so invested in the little things.

Ive been feeling kind of bleh since my tattoo.
Headaches and nausea. Then again it was a big piece and i am very boney.
By the day im feeling better.

With hazel, we have discovered she is lactose intolerant! So we gotta try soy milk this week and if that doesnt work then we gotta try rice milk. Its so nice not to have messy diapers anymore though. Who knew id get so excited over solid poop?

I went to student orientation for my college and I loved it! I’m so pumped to Start!they have a 24\7 resources room. I could go there at 3am If I wanted to. Then I got to visit my sister and found out she has the c dif that doesn’t kill you ! So that was a big relief.

I also got my tattoo for my dad today. I got the baby bear and the papa Bear holding hands with the quote free to breathe. My dad had small cell lung cancer,so I got it on my ribs. It actually didn’t hurt until we started shading,then I was like NOPE NOPE NOPE. But I really love the tattoo. I ended up breaking down when I took a quick break,I can’t help it..I miss him you know??

Today marks 6 years since I lost you to small cell lung cancer. Until the very last time I ever talked to called me baby bear. You’re now free to breathe papa bear. Ill always love you.

I’m really hoping today gets better…

Today started off with really bad cramps. Then the realization that today has been 6 years since my dad passed away. Today im supposed to go get my tattoo for him (its gunna hurt a lot :o) also , I have my college student orientation!!! IM BECOMING A COLLEGE STUDENT AHHHH. but sadly my sister is admitted to the hospital. She has a severe kidney infection. She’s a mess..she might test positive for CDIF (I think that’s how you spell it??) its this virus I believe that isn’t curable and kills you..she can’t stop throwing up and going to the bathroom. She’s so weak. I’m so scared.

Why does there have to be such good and bad going on today ?

I taught some of the cloth diaper classes last night at exciting I swear. Its nice to have a whole set up for people instead of having to jam it up really quick like I do at work. It was nice to teach an issue that’s going on in our world and how to fix it!

Also speaking of success…i have student orientation on Wednesday! I also have my tattoo the same day and that’s my dads passing of 6 years .

On a hazel note! I took hazel to the children’s museum we have here in tucson. We were there for 2-4 HOURS just playing and discovering. She had a blast and it was so cute watching her interact and learn all on her own!

Unfortunately I think hazel might be lactose intolerant. She’s had a lot of diaharreah and so im stopping the milk to see if it makes a difference . I really hope it makes a difference.

Wish me luck !

Hazels first time fully interacting with a slide!

So ive been running around like my heads cutt off lately.
I dont know whats up with Hazel still thinking its the teeth. Plus hazel is now in the 1’s and 2’s room!!! so shes dealing with transition and such as well.

Shes honestly doing wonderful overall though. She loves loves LOVES the toddler room. She sleeps on a cot in there, goes outside, eats and plays with all the other kids!! She is around kiddos who are now doing the same things she is. It is hard to break habbit of dropping her off in the infants room and when i call its hard NOT to ask to be transferred to the infants room.

I dont know if its just me but everyone is like ” i miss when they were so little, it was the best..” i do miss Hazel when she was first born but i love to watch her grow! shes becoming her own little person and i know im doing a wonderful job raising her so far. I didnt even cry on her birthday either. I was happy my daughter is taking the next step in her life and becoming a little person!

Also, hazel hasnt been having the stools she should so i decided to buy her some yogurt today. OH BOY SHE LOVES IT. This was called Yoinfant or something. Its organic and has DHA etc. Hopefully the yogurt works.

On a potty note: The other night Hazel made her way on over to the toilet when i was trying to get her diaper on. I kept insisiting we had to put it on for bedtime. I go and get her nighttime cloth and bam THERE IS POOP ALL OVER MY BATHROOM FLOOR. i should of put two and two together and realize she was trying to use the potty!!

I tried tonight to see if she would do anything and she just started flipping out, Maybe shes afraid to pee on the toilet?Then again shes only one and i should be lucky that shes clicking on so quickly.

On a personal me note: I really miss going to therapy. I just want my insurance back! Ive been coping pretty good without it but i have my moments where im just like AHHH. Hazel has been stressing me out quite a lot lately. Im trying to put her to sleep in her crib, not working. She wont let me do things in the morning when she wakes up to early because shes tired. She makes really big scenes in restaurants and i always have to leave early from dinner with my friends.My therapist isnt a mom but shes someone i trust and i love to talk to.

Plus im coping really well with my dads death anniversary coming up. Ive decided what im going to get for him.Its going to be the quote “free to breathe” on my ribs with a papa bear holding his baby bears hand. My dad had small cell lung cancer and i was always his baby bear. Its taken me a long time to find something that i feel fits perfectly. I am going to get it done on his day, the 27th.

Its probably going to hurt a lot but my dad went through lung cancer. If can, i can get a rib tattoo and deal with it.

I cant believe im starting college in 2 weeeeeeeeeeks! Whoot! Hello SUVA! Hello Interior Designer me!

Anonymous: I think you are the most wonderful person I've ever had the pleasure of stumbling upon tumblr. What you're doing for your daughter is absolutely inspirational. Don't worry too much about your schedule... You seem capable of accomplishing so much. 

Oh anon youre so sweet. Thank you so much. I sometimes doubt myself. Then i remember i have Hazel and she is everything i could ever ask for. Its hazel and random acts of kindness like you that keep me going. Xoxoxo