Flying hazelbun!!!


Someone likes watermelon !

I just wanted to thank those who gave me inspiration and ideas to make my situation work. So many of you help me out on tumblr. Im so happy to know some of you ladies and gents!

Anonymous: I am so so proud of you mama!!!!! 

:’)

I am now officially apart of college. But now I have to cut my hours in half. Half is a lot. Plus on top of it I have to pay monthly for my college. Classes are from 8-230 . I work from 11-5. I can work from 3-6:30 but that’s nearly not enough money.i need to make. PLUS I can only have hazel in the daycare for 10hourd a day max. I don’t even like her.in there.for that long in general. I would have to drop her off at 730 then get to college. Go to work then get off at 630 . Her daycare closes at 6. 7-6 is 11 hours. I would need someone to pick her up earlier in order for me to work. But in order to gave someone to watch her I would probably have to pay them. Also, I would say my mom but.she drinks around that time. So I definitely don’t want her to do that. Plus how am I supposed to afford leverything if im going to working so much less. Everyone wants me to drop college but.i don’t want to do that.in order for any of this to work I would need a roomate and one that is willing to watch her that I trust for like 2-3 hours. Which I can’t find. I can’t stop breaking down about this.i can’t move.back in with my mom because its not good environment. I’m just so upside down.

Once again my anxiety is through the roof. I am looking for scholarships and boy oh boy they are nuts. I wish i could just dance for the money sometimes. Thats what some of my friends are doing. Most of them have all 4 years paid off and they have only been dancing 2 months? psshh It takes a lof of guts though, and staring which im not to fond of.
If i wasnt a mom, i probably wouldnt of thought of college honestly. At least i would of put it off longer. .Hazel has made me really think about what i want in life. Ive stepped up and now im going to SUVA. Now i got to figure out how the hell do i afford it??!?!?! I can either do $317 a month, which is WAYY cheaper or do a whole large sum of money. I really hate loans A LOT. like, these companies just eat away at you.

Unfortunately when my dad died when i was 12 i would get money every month to help my mom support me after he passed. I wish i could of have had that money put towards College. I would have $5,400 . Its not that much but its something? But we needed that money to live so, i wouldnt be where i am today if we werent at a good place back then.

Im just ranting about all this. Its like AHHH. I have a headache from this scholarship tornado. My college is more because its private and they are hands on. A lot of people tell me it so worth it though.

Hope i can get through this!


She is so cute when she sleeps .

I havent been able to write much on here lately.
Ive been UBER BUSY.
Hazel has decided to stay up late the past few nights with her teething. Its been pretty crazy. The intense cries randomly in the night because i know her mouth hurts. Shes been doing A LOT.

She so far has learned the word dog,ball and mom :) Hazel can stand up to almost a minute all on her own. When she gets scared and realizes she’s standing she either slowly crouches down or just plops her little cloth butt on the floor. I also now ask her as nicely as i can to hand me the little stuff she tries to put in her mouth. She will give it to me and not throw a fit. When i just go after her and say ” we cant have this” she flips out. How you ask and act around your child really does make a big difference.

Ive been trying my best to manage everything. I keep forgetting that bills and rents always near. Thank god ive gotten into the habit of paying my bills early though!! Phew. If i have the money i just usually wanna pay it and get it over with so i dont have the temptation to spend.

Speaking of spending, I FORGOT TO MENTION I GOT ACCEPTED TO MY COLLEGE EVERYONE EEEEEEEK.

So now i have to find scholarships and what not. I never have cried so much before over a piece of paper. It was really the right moment because all my friends were there when i opened it. Everyone started to scream when i started to cry and said” I GOT ACCEPTED!!!” My friend Jensine came over and hugged me so tight. Her hug gave me the biggest feeling of relief because, i did it. i GOT accepted.

Also, im already a super busy person and now with college coming up in less than 2 months i am going to be even more busy! I cant even keep up with my cloth diapers lately.
So i decided to invest in tucson’s local Diapering service called Sun Sprouts! Not only are they local but they are super friendly and keep things simple and clean! Im willing to pay them because it brings a huge burdon off my shoulders, they are a LOCAL business, i will be using less water, energy etc by using the service plus they make their pre-folds way more sanitary than i ever could. All you do is you use the pre-folds , put them in the pail and then they come pick them up for you and bring you a whole new stack of clean ones!!!

I love cleaning my diapers but ever since i moved into a WAY smaller place i seriously dont have the space, sun or time for it anymore.
When i lived with my mom everything was WAY easier. I always had her help with it, now i dont.

So im hoping the service goes well :)

On a more personal note, things are hard. I have so many things to balance but im really proud of myself for surprisingly managing. Keeping my head up has been doing me some good. My house might be a mess and it might not be perfect but its my home. My home means a lot to me.Its a loving environment for me and my daughter. Its my sanctuary. With all this hard work, its going to pay off in the future, i know it.

I just got to keep on going! Hazel is my motivation. She is such a pain in the butt but shes MY CUTE PAIN IN THE BUTT. Words cannot explain how much i love her.

She has changed my life and i dont know where i would be without her.

I love you Hazel LeeAnne.


Hazel last night eating up some cheese ! she so cute when she eats!!